you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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