My cat gives me a boner
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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