when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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