You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
