Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
