The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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