Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
