he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
