I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
