so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
