We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
