guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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