Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
