Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
