well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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