sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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