do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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