i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
