hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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