I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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