I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
