Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
