Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
