He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
