i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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