Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
