dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
