How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
