I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
