Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
