you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
