bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
