Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So much rum. So many feels.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
