You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
