Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
