My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
