But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
