i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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