why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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