Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
