how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
