I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
