Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
