she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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