Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
