I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
