I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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