This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
