Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
