Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
