p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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